What to wear on a first date

Dress for the plan

A first date's dress code comes from where you're going, not from the occasion. Aim one notch above what you'd wear to the same place with a friend: neither the person who came straight from the gym nor the one who came from a wedding.

Two plans have a full guide of their own: what to wear on a dinner date and what to wear on a casual date, for coffee, walks and activities.

Met on a dating app? Your date has seen your photos, so the person who walks in should look like the one in them. That starts with photos in the clothes you actually wear: see what to wear in your dating profile photos.

What the research says about first-date clothes

Impressions form fast. In a Princeton study, people judged faces shown for a tenth of a second much as others did with no time limit (Willis and Todorov, 2006). The first look across the bar counts, and the rest of the evening keeps adding to it.

Your clothes also say true things about you. When researchers showed strangers full-body photos of people they had never met, the strangers judged several personality traits, extraversion and self-esteem among them, better than chance, and more accurately when people stood naturally than when they held a set pose (Naumann and colleagues, 2009). Dressing as a version of yourself, rather than as the person you think your date wants, keeps that signal honest.

Red is the famous shortcut. A 2008 study found that men rated women pictured in red, or against a red background, as more attractive (Elliot and Niesta, 2008). Larger follow-up studies found no such effect (Peperkoorn and colleagues, 2016), and a 2018 meta-analysis co-written by the original author found the evidence weaker than it first looked, with signs of publication bias (Lehmann and colleagues, 2018). Wear red if you like how you look in it. It won't do the work for you.

Comfort is not a minor point. In a classic experiment, women who took a math test while wearing a swimsuit scored lower than women wearing a sweater, which the researchers traced to attention spent on how they looked; the men's scores didn't change (Fredrickson and colleagues, 1998). An outfit you keep checking takes attention away from the conversation.

What to wear: the pieces that do the work

You don't need a date outfit. You need the best version of your normal one:

• Something you've already worn and felt good in. A first date is not the place to test a new silhouette.
• One point of interest: a good jacket, a color you look great in, earrings or a ring, or a great pair of shoes. One, not five.
• Fit over trend. A plain knit that fits well beats a fashionable piece that pulls or slides.
• Shoes you can walk in for an hour, because a good date tends to turn into a walk.
• A layer for later: evenings cool down, and you may end up somewhere other than planned.
• Clean, pressed and lint-free. People notice condition before they notice labels.

For men

The base that covers most first dates: dark jeans or chinos that fit at the waist and the hem, a fitted knit or a shirt with a collar, and clean leather sneakers, boots or loafers. Then change one layer with the plan: an overshirt or a denim jacket for coffee, a leather jacket for drinks, an unstructured blazer for dinner.

The usual mistake is under-dressing, out of fear of looking like you tried: the old hoodie, the faded T-shirt, the running shoes you wear every day. The other is the work shirt straight from the office with the top button done up. Undo a button, roll the sleeves once if it's warm, and clean your shoes the night before.

Five complete looks from a normal closet are in first-date outfit ideas from clothes you already own.

• Dark jeans or chinos that fit
• A fitted knit, an oxford or a casual shirt
• Clean leather sneakers, boots or loafers
• One layer: an overshirt, a leather jacket or an unstructured blazer

For women

The base that covers most first dates: dark jeans or tailored trousers with a good top or a fine knit, or a simple midi dress. Then change one layer with the plan: a denim jacket or a trench for coffee, a leather jacket for drinks, a blazer or a long coat for dinner.

Choose shoes you've already walked in for an hour: loafers, flat ankle boots, clean sneakers or block heels. The other common trap is an outfit you'd be managing all evening: a neckline that slips, a hem that rides up when you sit, a bag too big for a small table. Sit down in it at home, and if anything moves, change it.

Five complete looks from a normal closet are in first-date outfit ideas from clothes you already own.

• Dark jeans, tailored trousers or a midi dress
• A good top, a silky blouse or a fine knit
• Shoes you've walked in: loafers, flat boots or block heels
• One layer: a denim jacket, a trench, a leather jacket or a blazer

What to leave at home

The common thread: anything that pulls your attention back to yourself.

• Anything brand-new and untested: labels that scratch, shoes that rub, a hem you'll keep tugging.
• Clothes you have to manage: a neckline that slips, a skirt that rides up when you sit, a shirt that keeps coming untucked.
• A cloud of fragrance. Clean clothes and skin smell better.
• Head-to-toe logos or a full trend look. Let your date meet you, not a brand.
• Your most formal outfit for a casual plan, or gym clothes for a nice one.

A five-minute check before you go

Run it in the mirror a couple of hours before, while there's still time to change something:

• Sit, stand and walk in it. If anything rides up, gapes or pinches, change it now.
• Check the forecast for the hours you'll be out, especially if the plan includes a walk.
• Look at the outfit from across the room. One point of interest should stand out; everything else should stay quiet.
• Check the details: lint, creases, scuffed shoes, a stray label.
• Pack what the plan needs: a layer, a card or cash, a charged phone.

Check the look in Clottr

Snap a mirror selfie of what you're wearing, and Rate My Outfit scores it on seven dimensions, from color harmony and proportion to how well it suits the occasion, with concrete fixes such as a different shoe or an extra layer.

To decide earlier, build two or three options on the canvas from your own wardrobe and compare them on you with virtual try-on, jewelry included. Or ask the AI stylist for a first-date look for the actual plan: it builds the outfit from pieces you own and checks the forecast.

Sources

Willis and Todorov (2006), Psychological Science: trait judgments from faces seen for a tenth of a second.

Naumann, Vazire, Rentfrow and Gosling (2009), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: personality judgments from full-body photos.

Elliot and Niesta (2008), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: the original study of red and attraction.

Peperkoorn, Roberts and Pollet (2016), Evolutionary Psychology: larger studies that found no red effect.

Lehmann, Elliot and Calin-Jageman (2018), Evolutionary Psychology: a meta-analysis of red and perceived attractiveness.

Fredrickson, Roberts, Noll, Quinn and Twenge (1998), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: the swimsuit and sweater experiment.

Herz and Inzlicht (2002), Evolution and Human Behavior: how much smell matters in choosing a partner.

Steinemann (2016), Air Quality, Atmosphere and Health: health effects reported from fragranced products in the US.